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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Depression hurts!

One day, my cousin called me and said, "Don't panic, I have a news about our neighbor, she was missing and later they found her dead in the nearby lake, they enquired her husband the reason, he said she was under medication for depression". I was shocked (even though it was a late reaction).Not only this incident I hear a lot about suicides these days, to my surprise, they are all Indians.
People go abroad with great many expectations and when they find out there's nothing spl, of course sight seeing is one major entertainment other than that, you got a lot of work to do, esp.., the one with kids. They are depressed doing the same work everyday, missing their parents and their dear ones.
The main thing that affects them is hearing any good news like weddings or any other functions in our country. They miss everything from India. I know that hurts a lot, especially for housewives, they keep on thinking about it, while doing their chores. My request to their husbands are, whenever you notice your wife getting depressed or any change in activity, before taking her to a doctor, better take a vacation.
Take her to the place where she'll enjoy the most, talk to her while traveling, listen to her. Do this once a month. Every weekend download her favorite movies, even if it bores you, sit with her and ask her the favorite part. Try to play with kid, chat with her in kitchen, and do the dishes not much, but a few glasses or plates just once a week will do. Give her some time for herself.
If she is upset about something, ask her not to do any work including cooking take her out to dinner or order a take out. Talk to her. Encourage her hobbies, even if you feel they are waste of money or stupid, its worth than spending your Doctor's fees. If she doesn't have any hobby, if you know her very well and married for more than a year by now you would've discovered her field of interests. Join her in any class, these days, meditation and yoga are becoming popular in foreign countries (I think they are not expensive); join her in one of those things.
I know it's pretty hard for the partners to follow, since you are all stressed too. You do all your office work, but you atleast have the change of environment in your office. It’s not the same for her. She does the same thing everyday. Try being in home for two days without going out, not talking to anyone and simply watching TV, you'll feel bored too.

For depressed wives, don’t react to your emotions, try to handle them with care. Engage yourself with other things. Try to surf the net, stop saying "I know nothing to look for". Learn new things. I believe every girl has a hobby, try to find your's. You can learn a lot through internet when you are abroad. We are all grown ups, try not to bother your husband much. He is also stressed like you. It doesn’t mean you should conceal your feelings, try to talk to him and make him understand. He won’t listen in the beginning but don’t give up. You can share your feelings through blogs. Even if you are not interested in books, try going to the library everyday, you’ll find new friends.
Break away your shyness and learn new things that you couldn’t do in your country, for example, swimming. I think 25% of the Indian girls don’t know how to swim, because of their shyness.
“Namma vooru ponnunga morathaala puliyai adichu viratanavanga intha depression ellam emmathiram”
Try to follow this for a month. If you are still stressed and depressed, get an appointment with the doctor without delay.


R-ambam said...

terror post aa irukke !
Personel space romba jaasthi ma antha oorla... India vula kooda pakkathu veetula yaaru irukka nu therinjukra interest koranju poachu ..! fan ooadra satham kooda illatha oorla door open panra orey noise mattum kaekra alavukku irukka koodaathu .. neraiya paesanum , paatu kaekanum appo thaan India miss panna maataanga..

Srivats said...

May her soul rest in peace, I agree women who are in abroad goes through lot of stress than the ones in india,and ur tips to the women and husbands are very good,if only everyone follows this we wont have such deaths in future, life is wothless, live abundantly!

Kirukalgal said...

Well said ma. Nalla kaalam, foreign countriesla phone unlimited.
Thanks for your comments.

Thanks a lot for your comments.

badraveni said...

Sounds sad! Yeah as you say, house wives have to divert their mind on some interesting events... so can avoid this kind of awful decisions...

Kirukalgal said...

Thanks for your comments ma!

deepthi said...

akka,first i loved reading ur posts..second u have just written my mind ka,very well written...nowadays depression is a word which is becoming more and more common between our indian house wives in foreigh countries which is quite scary...u've written some useful points too...

sakthi said...

great sreeja akka... nalla punch.. eppo than time kidaichuthu unga bloga padikka..

Kirukalgal said...

Hi Deepthi,
Thanks for your comments, well said ma. Before ten years "Depression" is not common among our people, visiting psychiatrist has been a secret, these days, they are like a family member.
Hi Sakthi,
Thanks for your comments!

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